Hellooooo it's been so long since I last blogged and I changed my url cos quite a handful of ppl knew the old one and also cos nannynannywoo's no longer a major part of my life. It's a bittersweet memory, which is why I placed it at the little text thingy below my name in the headings. Kinda thing my new url sucks tho lol I can't think of anything else so.. I'll stick w this fr now.
I only told 1 person bout my new url cos I'd like this to be a place whr I can say anything w/o worrying i'd offend anyone x_o Also to rant bout missing someone w/o that person knowing.. ANW promos are over (This is pretty slow it was over like 2 weeks ago) I've not been doing much studying it's been all PW and CL. Tho Ray started w me on maclaurin's series I've yet to do the tut sigh.
My J1 year is almost over too, how time flies.. AJ has been alright for me. I def have more fun memories in Swiss but I hope I'll carry away fond memories of AJ as well when I graduate. My friends in AJ are really nice too, but y'know how ppl can be friendly and nice and at the same time not be ppl you click w/.. I'm just glad they're nice :o) I've also become a lil more competitive in AJ and I don't like this feeling. In Swiss it didn't matter if my friends were doing better than me, I set my own expectations and get sad/happy cos of meeting/not meeting them. How the rest of the class did was irrelevant. I guess why it is how it is now is cos the class's smaller and the environment itself is pretty competitive. I can't imagine how much more competitive the elite JCs are x_o Plus, moderation causes us to be even more competitive cos we're hoping that there are ppl who do worse than us (even if you don't wanna feel that way) Then again, I talked to dad and he said that in uni they do moderation all the time. JC really prepares us fr how things would be like in uni and ultimately the corporate world hm.
A friend of mine told me that she doesn't wanna go to NUS even if she had the pre-requisites cos her sis said the ppl thr are arrogant. I've never really agreed to all this remarks of not gg to a good school cos the ppl thr are said to be snobbish or whatev.. I mean like I have friends who're in NUS and they aren't snobbish. Sure, thr are ppl like that but I feel that it isn't always a bad thing to be exposed to them. In the future in our workplace we're def gna meet arrogant ppl who suck up to the big boss. We can't say "Oh I don't wanna join your company cos the ppl thr are all so arrogant" When you need a job once you're out from uni thats it you need a job! Also, being exposed to ppl like that in school can sorta 'train' you beforehand to say.. build up ur tolerance level/learning the smart things to say to them to get them to shut up lol/how to work w/ them in projects. If we've never communicated w such ppl at a younger age when we're in the workplace I'm certain it'll be SO much more irritating.
What else is there to say hm.. Oh yeah I had an emotional breakdown yest trolol. It's pathetic now that I think bout it. I just found out tdy that my net leader's dad who's suffering from cancer had just been told that he has 4 more months to live. Idk why but when I think bout things like this that's happening to my friends I feel that I shouldn't be sad over the puny things in my life. Someone else is having it worse. Ofc it doesn't mean that we don't have the right to be sad/disappointed. Just that it's not healthy to keep dwelling on it. I feel so contradictory now when I think of the times I feel down cos I miss u BUT im def learning to let go. LET GO LET GOD.
I've not been living a very Godly life. Ppl can just say they're christians but what truly makes us christians? Christian means "little christ" btw, it means to be Christ-like. To live the life that Jesus lived. To lay our burdens down at God's feet. Exchange our hurt for His love. To have a RELATIONSHIP w/ Jesus. I know and I've experienced and seen what God can do in ppl's lives. I've been touched by God but I always fall into sin and not praying/reading the bible daily. Saying you're a christian isn't just bout gg to church every Sunday. It's a lifestyle. Like how when you say you're a singaporean you live a Sgean lifestyle you know the language(singlish) you know the kind of food that's available here. In the context of Christianity you know the language (of speaking in tongues) and you know the kind of food us Christians have to take to stay close to God (spiritual food)
Honestly, being a Christian is full of struggles and it is downright tough. Esp when you're ard non christians and ppl who give earthly advice.. But by the grace of God everything will work out fine.
Something I learnt from service today: "Peace is not the absence of fear/problems/uncertainty. It is the presence of God." So even when you're facing problems in your life you can still have peace in your hearts if you commit those problems to God. If you TRUST that He has a plan for you and that plan is always good.
I'm sorry this is such a lengthy post w/o pics.. I'll put in more pics next time. Just filled w/ words cos they're stuff that's been bugging me recently. Other than that.. I'm done here. :o)
X,
meeeeeelia
